Going into Politics – Fm May 4th, 2015

Today I’m giving up trying to understand everything and shall redirect my efforts to not giving a rat’s patootie. Ignorance is bliss and dumb and happy ain’t a bad way to go. Yes, I plan to undertake a career in politics where you don’t actually have to do anything, know anything or really care whether or not this ship of state flounders. All you have to do is lie convincingly while spouting partisan rhetoric and collecting free lunches from your campaign financiers. Perhaps a lobotomy will enhance my chances of being elected. Rest assured if you vote for me I will do nothing for you as my supporter. I won’t try to reason with my fellow politicians and enact any meaningful legislation. I will happily play golf and collect my salary and await that cush job in the private sector that is sure to follow my term in office. I am the perfect candidate for all voters who just don’t know when their favorite politico is lying. I’ll tell you right now that I’ll do absolutely nothing to better the lot of the common citizen. Take the easy way out, don’t stay awake nights worrying which candidate in your chosen party will do the least damage if elected. Vote for me and you can sleep well knowing I won’t lift a finger to make this a better country. I’d thank you for your support but I don’t really need it since I just received a gazillion dollar contribution (under the table, of course) from a multinational corporation. So get back to the important tasks like spending 87 hours a week on your fantasy sports picks or planning your next cosmetic surgery. Vote for me cause ain’t nothin’ gonna happen on my watch. Trust me.


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